Birthday xx?


So its my birthday…

on like Friday….work announcement was this week and everyone was starring at me. so uncomfortable getting older.

It’s not like I am like hopping up and down like a kid waiting for a new bicycle or toy, its more like my body is rewarding me with these thin not so pretty crater like lines on my face and going there you go for another year of memories. Yay!

Age gracefully they say and then you watch some women and its’s like magic, they know what to do.

With me it’s like totally the opposite. With every year I am thinking… do I really need to brush my hair this way and style it there, is it worth it… well it takes a few more minutes from my sleep and do people really appreciate it.

Guess what? They do… so I try hard to buy new clothes… more dresses, skirts, colourful things to wear out to work. Then what happens. My cupboards get too full. G always says “Initially she took over 20% of the cupboard, then 30% then, 50%, then 60% etc. Now if you give her more space she will fill it.”

Question is do I wear it?

Truth is: Not often enough.

Probably my pocket feels it more than me. So last year I was told I was the best dressed lady at work, and like this year I had to go and undo that cause I couldn’t keep up. Now that I am commuting for over an hour to work, the fame of looking good is wearing off and the sleepiness taking over.

So here I am, scruffy as hell. Flat shoes and all in a stream of beautifully dressed women and their shiny new clothes, their high heels. They got it right! They wake up go to the train, eat and drink on the train and apply their make-up on the train. Its maddening. Applying make-up on the train, so many people staring at you putting on your face…. is that more embarrassing then not putting it on in the first place? I think so.

Then they carry their nice heels in their bags and are wearing trainers to their destination… so I am thinking, i got to carry two pairs of shoes every day…and my lunch? Men only get to wear one, how is this fair? or equality?

It started off with the occasional falling asleep and the rotational reading of the newspaper. But guess what…? The news in the morning is the news at night and daily it doesn’t change much at all. So then you start nodding off but you don’t really fall asleep cause you just like bobbing your head up and down, waking yourself up before you hit the ground.

Most recently I am completely burnt out, so I fall asleep and thank goodness I am not snoring. So here I am squished between two large men or an angry looking larger woman and a large man and I got no space and its warm and I can’t really fall, but I can fall asleep. So I do. Then I dramatically wake up to see if I have missed my stop.

Here is where my genius comes in, MY PHONE. turn it on and then set the timer and before you get to your stop it vibrates in your hand and you wake up… It could be worse. I hope one day I don’t drop it on the floor…, it doesn’t get stolen and whatever else your imagination can come up with.

So I just took annual leave and now going to relax a little.

Hope you are too.

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