what age do you want to be?

If you could choose what age you wanted to be what would you say that would be?

Coming back to my home town made me look at the old hidden baby, child, teenage, young adult pictures that have been stored over the years. I get sad and nostalgic and almost feel sorry for that little person in those pictures. It’s kind of weird that you can become kind of motherly/fatherly towards yourself. Being an only child and having to entertain myself daily wasn’t as much of a struggle as most people coming from families with more children can imagine.
I learnt to develop a lot of my hidden talents in this way.

I love problem solving and entertaining the thought of developing new exciting things. Problem is, the things I naturally come up with are usually not in the industry that I am working in and sometimes I wonder if it’s life saying that there is so much more out there to be explored.

My teachers used to say “you’ll have a hard time picking what you want to do, you pretty much can do anything.” I never saw this as being a challenge or something to be proud of. I suppose I thought I had a plan, but what I have learnt over the years is to accept that plans change all the time. Being rigid or too sure of yourself makes you miss out on opportunities. I now react to situations and do what I feel is right. I usually sense things in advance and make my decisions. I suppose sometimes you get it right, sometimes you wrong but that’s life. So far so good.

Thinking about age, I used to be so naive and I really was more of an optimist rather than a realist. I think I’m more balanced now than ever and probably cautious and making calculated decisions based on the risks.

I like being my current age, yet I’m constantly searching for my freedom. I find that if I am alone and the responsibility is fully on me I do better than when i’m acting in a similar capacity as the other people in a group. I think I do better than most when it comes to execution, especially when I am free to make the decisions and I think I was born this way. Since I was a little kid I was called the boss, which is something that has been used in a haha sort of way and something that I am not particularly fond of.

I remember at graduation from college my teacher whispered in my ear “Go make some money”. I always try and feed people energy, motivation and confidence to do better. I however raise the bar high and get disappointed often.

I feel I have become colder and more reserved over the years and I measure my words.

Sometimes I do wish I was still a kid. A lot of people around me I find, forgetting the way they look, could still be kids.

If we could live more and savour our energies and reach our full potential, do what we love, be truthful, be more kind, don’t take things / people for granted, help each other, love more, understand each others strengths…. the world would be better.
I suppose lastly, don’t pretend to say things that you don’t mean. So act on the above rather than speak it.

The motivation for me today and every day is that I will be a better me tomorrow and operate in the hardest way which is transparently and truthfully, but reserved. Unfortunately I don’t have a choice in picking my age but I do have a choice in my attitude towards life and everyone around me.


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