I was recently asked to comment on why people have kids given the obstacles and difficulties you find yourself having to cope with while they grow up etc. I find it really hard to come up with a logical explanation. Having been accustomed to providing scientific answers and statistics when it comes to emotions there is no real rational behind it.
When you want to have kids it’s almost like an instinctive feeling, a desire for generational survival and a primal need to be succeeded. Indeed having a loving partner and wanting to share something unique and special with them is a large motivator. This is something you will create that will largely be your own. It is in its own right a masterpiece for a painter or an invention for a scientist, but in my opinion it is much more than this. For me it is a miracle.
The first couple of months when you realise you have a life form being created by your body you just can’t believe how incredible your system is and that it is really happening to you. You are excited about feeling this little being transforming your body, your life, your perception of the world. To care about something not material, but to love someone so unconditionally, so unselfishly that you would give up your whole life and existence for them.
Once they are big enough inside of you they start kicking, hiccuping, wiggling, interacting with you. You are now bonding and interconnected spiritually. They hear your heartbeat day in and day out, your voice and feel your emotions. They are consumed by you and will be like this for years to come.
You begin to feel the little spirit and the joy it will bring you. The curiosity of how they look like makes you dream away their facial features and their character. Your partner is now able to share these special moments with you, he lays his hands upon your belly. He feels proud to be able to connect and feel your child growing inside of you, inside of the person they love the most. They know soon life will be different but good. You both get encouragement by others and the excitement from people around you spurs you on. It is indeed a joyous time.
Then labour comes, the mighty hours of labour bring you and your partner closer together. He begins to realise how much you are going through to bring this child, your child, into this world.
He is grateful to have you and soon your baby to call his own. His own little family!
You are consumed with emotions, soon you will finally see your little baby in your arms. Your little love bug, the baby that loves you most in the whole world. The baby that cannot live without you and you realise you have to live for them and you cannot live without them. You have been blessed to feel them alive within your womb and soon in your hands, that you know you cannot not have this feeling of needing to connect.
When they come out, you look at them straight in the eyes and they gaze back. Finally mommy and baby get to see each other, to not only live as one, but to watch each other evolve over time. To admire each other and to support each other. You love this child, they are a part of you. Your flesh and blood, your lips, your eyes…. it’s kind of mental because it’s like loving yourself but better.
More than anything, day by day you invest your soul, your heart, your efforts into their growth and development and they become more and more connected to you with every feed. The more they surprise you by doing different things, the more excited you become, the prouder you feel, the closer to your partner you feel and the more you love them. Your partner is proud and loving, knowing he has had the blessing of having a gift from god.
This is just snippet of emotions you go through with your baby and this is the way we love them and the way they love us. This is the way they bring us all closer together, as families and extended families. They are beautiful and they are the future. And who knows now that you love this feeling so much, you may want to relive it with another baby!
- Who said parenting was easy? (delveinoneself.wordpress.com)
- Welcome to Parenthood (Now What?) (babyzone.com)