There have been many times that I have wanted to write this post, but sadly I haven’t had the chance and I hope for once the things that have been circling in my head can be put to rest.
When I was just a little girl at school I got beat up by a much larger girl and lost my earing. At the time I didn’t know why I was beimg beaten up and he earing I lost had been given by my grandmother to my mother and then me. Such a beautiful gift lost. When I went home that night my mother told me that it was jealousy.
Then when I was a teenager I was being picked on by three girls. I made a mockery out of all the verbal abuse and the people that got hurt were those girls not me. When I told my mother afterwards, she had a chat with one of the girl’s moms, she told me it was jealousy.
Funny enough the only time I really felt jealous was when my husband was looking at beautiful girls in these “health” magazines, this was when we were teenagers and I remember my dad pouring more oil onto that fire. It was because my mother had given me a complex over my weight, eventhough I was a thin child.
None the less, this green eyed monster has made me lose a few friends along the way. I didn’t even know people felt that way towards me, shows how niave I can be.
Jealousy is not necessary and it only brings about pain and then people play games to hurt one another. Doesn’t your conscience warn you when it is happening? I mean it is something you do viciously and with intention. It is premeditated and horrid.
More so, I have lost friends because I have gotten too involved in their personal business. For example I remember one time when my best friend who lived with me in university went out and never came home till 4 am in the morning and I knew she had a flight at 6am. I wanted to say goodbye for the summer break and that is how I noticed she was missing, cause naturally I waited up for her. As the hours went by I grew more anxious and coming from a country like south africa your mind starts to wonder. So I called all our friends and she was nowhere and finally I called the police. When she arrived I told her what I’d done. She basically called me stupid and who do I think I am, slammed the door and left. I felt really hurt.
None the less I have always given my opinion and sometimes when I have myself come to a decision over something when preaching why I don’t always consider how the other person might feel about it. And that it can hurt them cause their ideas are different and I can be quite domineering.
Sometimes I think because I have degrees and and because I study a lot and do research that I know better.
Bit actually what is important is for a person to fewl comfortable with their decisions and you to support them even if you think they are wrong and you can always tell them in a nice way what you think. My tongue sometimes escapes me and I feel the need to justify myself and stand my ground due to my past, but I vow to change that and be more considerate.
I am not always right and no one is always right, nor are people issues rifht or wrong. They just have a different outcome depending on our choices. I think the important thing is to have a clear karma and to be a good soul.
Ignorance is not an excuse and if your opinion isn’t asked for then maybe consider just listening and not talking. Wow, is that going to be hard for an opinionated individual like myself. 🙂 x