Is it really Betrayal?

Is it really a betrayal?

Well in the end my best friend and I ended up going to the movies with G weekly. Things became worse when my parents actually liked the boy. Things weren’t going all that great with my current bf. So in the end I think I just fell for him, he felt comfortable to be with and to share my thoughts with. We had similar interests and everything seemed positive. One big problem was that I would really be ultimately betraying my friend, I mean in the end you so young and naive and you think who knows maybe this boy won’t stick around but friends… well, aren’t they supposed to be for life.

G was older than me and had been driving around in his red BMW and he was attractive not only in a physical way but spiritually and emotionally. So, I am sorry to have to admit that I chose him above everything else, and good thing I did. Remember I mentioned I was staying with a few people who were supposed to take care of me, but didn’t. Well thank goodness for G, because when I fell ill he was there for me and he was changing the cloth on my head every so often, I was burning up with fever 39C and the people I was staying with said why don’t I go outside for a walk for some fresh air. I was so sick I couldn’t move, my throat was so sore, I didn’t sleep at all. Poor G. He picked me up and carried me to the car and took me straight to the hospital where I was admitted immediately. I was there for a week, didn’t sleep for a whole week. I was being visited by nuns and all sorts. In the end G’s mom came and she brought me flowers with G’s grandmother. They were so kind to me. My only support! No one else came to visit, my dad was too far away, my mom was too far away, my friends couldn’t be bothered to even call….

I had G the only person in my life who was my rock. I went home on the weekend, saw my dad and started preparing for exams slowly. I had an appointment scheduled at the orthodontist also. My wisdom teeth were growing skew. It was just 4 weeks before the start of my final year exams and I had to go to for surgery. Great!

Again, Greg got me in the car drove me there and I was really nervous. They thought I was nervous enough to give me a sedative. A pill to calm me down, I couldn’t even go to the loo it knocked me out really well. After this they took me to a room, the doctors started talking nonsense and lied me into sleep. So the last thing I remember was lies. Then I remember everything that went on in the surgery. Unable to move or do anything but hearing them work in my head was really disturbing, I don’t think they were really following practice, but I didn’t know much about anything when I was younger.

I ended up coming out of there screaming, G was so worried he almost stormed into the theatre. Then I was swollen like a hippo for 2 weeks. G’s mom offered to keep me at her house and take care of me. Kind lady that she is, I felt like I was part of a family. Before I joined her in her home, I managed to go to my own “home” where I realised I could not go to the toilet. My muscles wouldn’t let me…. so my dad thankfully was around. He rushed me to a hospital he knew well. I had a catheter put in and drip to drain my system. I was so embarrassed by the way I looked. I was scared people would be horrified looking at me… I felt so ugly being so swollen.

They overdosed me on anaesthetics and the whole thing was one hell of a nightmare. I still have some joke photos from G about it.

Worst of all was that the whole chain of negative events just seemed to pile and pile. Remember I said I had exams, well I studied for them but soon after the surgery I was told my gran was being taken into the hospital with an embolism and not very late after that phone call I knew she had passed. She came to visit me.

Thinking about that day tears me apart. I blamed everyone from God, to myself, to my parents. It seems I have a lot to learn about letting go. I still do. It all scares me.

The next day I had to go in and write my German exams, I was clutching at the principles table out of pain. I had terrible stomach problems from all the antibiotics and everything. The majority of the exam was spent in the toilet. It was just one hell of a disaster, but I did well in the exam none the less.

Probably I should be thankful for being bright, because that year I most likely would have not made it out of school never mind the really good results I scored.

G was driving me to all my exams and he was my rock throughout the whole thing. He was my world and I, well I was the girl sleeping in his car every day. He used to do a lot of jobs for his father and I used to accompany him, but really all I did was sleep in the passengers seat lazing in the sun and then going to his house to eat.


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