I know a while ago I wrote about disappointment, this time around I want to write about expectations and the gift of receiving. In my life I have had to ask very little of my parents, not because I didn’t need, but because they have always over provided. For this I am more than thankful and indebted forever. They gave me the gift of life, an education, love, compassion, encouragement, money, support, help and all the things necessary for me to become who I am today. It is funny how much we actually receive and how much more we actually want, be they physical things or otherwise. It might not be things we necessarily need, but we feel at that moment in time they would make us happy.
The people I have asked the most out of, well I would have to correct the term people and just say my husband and the other entity, if you want to be more correct, would be God. What can I say I am a needy wife and child. From them I have asked the world and they have always provided, even if it hasn’t been in time. In- between I have been disappointed. But why? well I think that I was disappointed because I always expected, as if I deserved. When I never expected from my parents and I received I felt I had received more than I deserved and I felt good. So was the key here is expectation? Yes, indeed it is. If we do not think we deserve, when we receive we will be overjoyed.
Where does this feeling of grander come from? Well, I believe it comes from many places:
– lack of confidence
They don’t sound like very good things do they, well we should try and cut them down then don’t you think?
It is so much nicer to give… I love giving to my son.. he gets something out of it and so do I. Now I am beginning to understand why my parents like giving me things, or so I have deduced. The best gifts have been wise words and lessons, those are the things that build memories and that remain forever. Material things fade and become dated and unwanted.
I remember a few important lessons my father taught me:
When I was going to school one day my looked at me and said : “Lilly, enjoy these years they will be the best years of your life. You have no obligations and are care-free, you can do anything you want to.” I thought he was being silly and all I wanted to do was grow up faster, but I still took in all those memorable years with both hands.
Then I turned nineteen and went to university and my dad said: “Lilly, enjoy these years as you get to learn your career and you are growing into an adult who can be self-sufficient and take care of herself. You are becoming independent and can go out and have fun with friends, but don’t forget to work hard. Make these years count and go wherever you want to. They were my favourite!” I thought they were his favourite cause he must have partied hard and it is easier to remember these years than the rest of them. So I worked hard and enjoyed myself.
When I got married my dad said to me: “Lilly, enjoy this time you have with your husband. You don’t have any children and you can do many things. No obligations yet and you are with the person you love. What better thing?” – This time I probably took mostly for granted and found it hard to grow into my adulthood.
When I got pregnant my dad said to me:” Lilly, enjoy the pregnancy because soon the little one will pop out and you won’t have time for anything. It is beautiful to be pregnant.” – so I did.
When I had the baby my dad said to me:”Lilly, enjoy this time with your son because it is so special. He is small and he needs you. He isn’t hard work and you get to feed him and bond with him and laugh.” – so I am, but I have taken a step back and thought of all the things my dad has said to me.
What he didn’t realise is that he was teaching me the biggest lesson of them all and giving me the biggest gift. He gave me memories and he gave me time. He taught me to enjoy life, every minute of it. Everything that happens is special and things change as you experience more of it. He told me to enjoy because sooner or later things would change and we miss the things we don’t have. Regrettably sometimes we don’t see the value in the things in front of us.
He wasn’t saying enjoy only this time, but enjoy all time.
So I hope that whoever you are and where-ever you find yourself in your journey you find time to enjoy it.
- The Lessons We Learn from Our Parents, Part II (icedteawithlemon.wordpress.com)
- I Expect Nothing Less (livelaughlyrics.wordpress.com)
- The Way You Are (6seconds.org)