Tag Archives: Family

So what if my baby wears Ralph Lauren from time to time?

My baby boy is one month short of a year and I have finally decided that parenting is a full time job. It is probably the most rewarding and frustrating job you might have, but the benefits are endless and absolutely gob smacking amazing.

When it gets tough, you got no option but to get tougher. When it gets rough, you got no option but to keep going….. and when they get a cold… you get one too eventually. Worst of all is, you can’t call in sick!!! You can call friends and parents, but moaning won’t help, they’ll just tell you “that’s the way it is” and “we have all been through it”.

The big question after all is, “Are you prepared for another one?”.

I have to say that question has been swimming in my head for some time now and there are a lot of mixed emotions. I absolutely love spoiling my child. The old me would have said…”Why do kids have to wear labels, they grow out of their clothes so quickly and it will just be a waste of money?”. I didn’t realise I would  completely cut down spending on myself and just spend on my child. Anything from educational toys, fancy clothes, books and everything in between. Even dinner has become a permanent gourmet session.  Would I have to stop spoiling him when I have a second, because I would have to cut down on spending? Or would it be cheaper as you got some hand-me-downs? Do you have to share your love?

When I hugged my child tonight to put him to bed I thought to myself, thank you God for blessing me with this wonderful baby and for allowing me to become a mom. Lately I have been reading on facebook a lot of messages about how wonderful moms are. I bet a lot of those messages are written by moms. First you don’t really get to appreciate your mom until you have one. You realise how unselfish she really is. To be a mom you have to give freely, everything… literally. I mean I don’t eat half the time cause my son wants my food, even-though it’s the same as his. The best pieces now go to him, everything is reserved and booked and cooked according to the babies needs. The husband also kinda takes a backseat.

What we forget about is how wonderful our kids are and how much satisfaction you get from the little things. My parents and parents in-law are the same as us, all you hear is “Look at him, look what he is doing!” He may have done it 20 times, but it’s just as exciting when you see it happen again and again, until he masters that skill. It’s funny, because we satisfied with just a smile in the beginning and then everything they learn is like a major achievement. Every time my son goes to the toilet to do a number two in the potty I get so super excited and now he even claps for me when he is finished. I don’t see him doing that when he is 20, do you? He will probably be completely embarrassed if he had to read this in the future.

I was saying something to a friend of mine the other day that makes me look at life in a completely different light. Whenever someone ever asked me my age I would say 1 year higher than I was, I was constantly sprinting ahead. When I hit 24 I stopped that habit and now it’s like, “How old am I? Oh, I don’t know! Let’s calculated… 1..2..3…….uhm.. twenty-…?”


When our children are first born we just super excited about having them and we can’t wait till they can roll-over, sit-up, crawl… etc. We compare them to the other kids their age. We wonder why our kids haven’t learnt to do this or that as quickly as their peers. STOP and slow down.

Do you really want them to grow up so quickly? They won’t be babies anymore.

Do you really think they won’t learn those skills eventually anyway? Of course they will.

Just because Jerry got his first tooth at 4 months and yours at 14 months! So what, did you ask Jerry’s mom how it feels. She was probably totally excited about it when it happened, or maybe under slept and then she realised she has to brush the tooth. 10 months of brushing you didn’t have to do!! Turn the negative thinking into positive thinking and let nature just run it’s course.

Anyway, I enjoy being a mom and wondering if I can repeat it all over again. Oh and who cares if they grow out of the expensive clothes, at least they look cute in them. By the way, you can buy it on SALE :).


How do Dad’s feel during pregnancy?

English: Father with baby in the shower.
English: Father with baby in the shower. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The days are getting colder and I am spending more time at home. I regularly reflect back on my journey to becoming a mom. I am already 35 weeks pregnant and the pressure of becoming a mom and going through labour is just beyond the door. I am extremely excited and looking forward to having someone so little in my arms that I can hold and cuddle with. However, I have noticed my relationship with my husband has changed over the course of the pregnancy and is continuing to change.

In the beginning my husband was almost speechless, he looked like he was a little in shock when he found out I was pregnant. He didn’t show any overexcitement, but didn’t look disappointed either. Internally I think he was just trying to process the thought of being a dad, only having just less than a year ago become a husband I bet it was one more thing to think about.

It took him quite a while to adjust to being a husband, I think initially he felt pretty trapped and uncomfortable, it must have taken about 6 months for him to settle in with this thought. Being married puts pressure on a man, he is expected to fend for his family no matter what. In order for them to feel comfortable they need to gain their confidence as a stable income provider and a man in control. Women tend to nest easier and we quickly adapt to our wifely role, cooking, cleaning, supporting our men and doing just about anything to keep the balance at home.

Becoming a father is an even bigger challenge, with the daily changing of nappies, going to work, sleepless nights and one more mouth to feed. Some men get scared and they run away from their obligations, pretend it’s a woman’s job, hide at work or just don’t want to accept it. Unfortunately this leads to a lot of tension at home, because the wife is tired, neglected, finding no time for herself and just isolated with the baby with limited social interaction to a more adult group.

It is really important that both parents understand that they need time together as a family, also time to themselves and time alone without the baby. This is where grandparents come in handy I hope!

My husband is so fond of our little baby, even though he isn’t born. I think the reasoning behind this, is that I share with him all the little things baby does. Like when he kicks, or has hiccups and oddly enough babies even in the womb have their own characters. When mine gets startled or excited, he gets the hiccups. He also likes to stick out his bumm and have it rubbed and the more you rub it, the more he sticks it out.

He is a funny little character, just like his daddy!

While his daddy seems to be growing more and more overprotective over me, especially when the bump is slowly getting bigger. I still sometimes feel alone when I am at home. I now feel like I need more attention and care and the days are beginning to slow me down. Sleeping is becoming a problem and doing all the chores is not as easy anymore. This is when daddy’s can really help the mom to be, be home earlier, sometimes cook her a meal, help clean the house and just be reassuring. It can be a really stressful time mentally and the support means more than anything. If you ignore to do those things, she will be even more scared for the future and what a new baby might bring. She will think that not only is she now going to have to take care of you, but the chores and the baby. This becomes a cloud of doom, because of the massive uncertainty attached to how she is going to cope given her feelings of exhaustion.

Now is not the time to play computer / tv games, or do just about all the things you want to or have been doing, it is a time for change and stepping into the real role of manhood. Your contribution is invaluable and so are you in a relationship. Mind, Body and Soul.

Plus, you need to remember you are not just a husband now but also a father. That bond you get with your children that is something no one can later take away from you.

One colleague once said to me, you will inevitably end up fighting about stupid things. What you need to do is ask yourself, “Do I have a strong opinion about it, if not and your partner has then just go with it.”