Parenting skills come with experience and also with knowledge transfer. It isn’t always easy to know what to do and sometimes you relying on people, “specialists” to guide you. Sometimes the specialists get it wrong, so what do you have? Parenting instincts, mother’s instinct! Trust it, it is the most powerful thing in the world.
Because it is formed on love and admiration for your child. It is important to share experiences and many have recognized this and formed parenting / mother and baby groups. Sometimes these have been distorted into an excuse to get out the house and gossip thereby lessening the learning experience. We have now apparently formed classes to teach young mom’s how to play with their children, because somehow those skills never got passed on.
Well don’t worry, there are moms out there like me, who don’t mind sharing 🙂 and there are parents like you who like to read.
I was recently asked to comment on why people have kids given the obstacles and difficulties you find yourself having to cope with while they grow up etc. I find it really hard to come up with a logical explanation. Having been accustomed to providing scientific answers and statistics when it comes to emotions there is no real rational behind it.
When you want to have kids it’s almost like an instinctive feeling, a desire for generational survival and a primal need to be succeeded. Indeed having a loving partner and wanting to share something unique and special with them is a large motivator. This is something you will create that will largely be your own. It is in its own right a masterpiece for a painter or an invention for a scientist, but in my opinion it is much more than this. For me it is a miracle.
The first couple of months when you realise you have a life form being created by your body you just can’t believe how incredible your system is and that it is really happening to you. You are excited about feeling this little being transforming your body, your life, your perception of the world. To care about something not material, but to love someone so unconditionally, so unselfishly that you would give up your whole life and existence for them.
Once they are big enough inside of you they start kicking, hiccuping, wiggling, interacting with you. You are now bonding and interconnected spiritually. They hear your heartbeat day in and day out, your voice and feel your emotions. They are consumed by you and will be like this for years to come.
You begin to feel the little spirit and the joy it will bring you. The curiosity of how they look like makes you dream away their facial features and their character. Your partner is now able to share these special moments with you, he lays his hands upon your belly. He feels proud to be able to connect and feel your child growing inside of you, inside of the person they love the most. They know soon life will be different but good. You both get encouragement by others and the excitement from people around you spurs you on. It is indeed a joyous time.
Then labour comes, the mighty hours of labour bring you and your partner closer together. He begins to realise how much you are going through to bring this child, your child, into this world.
He is grateful to have you and soon your baby to call his own. His own little family!
You are consumed with emotions, soon you will finally see your little baby in your arms. Your little love bug, the baby that loves you most in the whole world. The baby that cannot live without you and you realise you have to live for them and you cannot live without them. You have been blessed to feel them alive within your womb and soon in your hands, that you know you cannot not have this feeling of needing to connect.
When they come out, you look at them straight in the eyes and they gaze back. Finally mommy and baby get to see each other, to not only live as one, but to watch each other evolve over time. To admire each other and to support each other. You love this child, they are a part of you. Your flesh and blood, your lips, your eyes…. it’s kind of mental because it’s like loving yourself but better.
More than anything, day by day you invest your soul, your heart, your efforts into their growth and development and they become more and more connected to you with every feed. The more they surprise you by doing different things, the more excited you become, the prouder you feel, the closer to your partner you feel and the more you love them. Your partner is proud and loving, knowing he has had the blessing of having a gift from god.
This is just snippet of emotions you go through with your baby and this is the way we love them and the way they love us. This is the way they bring us all closer together, as families and extended families. They are beautiful and they are the future. And who knows now that you love this feeling so much, you may want to relive it with another baby!
I am always surprised to hear a mom to be say that she is almost at term and she doesn’t know anything about babies or labour. It seems very few women do research and read about what to expect in labour, also a lot of women who have been through it talk to all their friends about it and then suddenly forget the details and then later find it hard to really go into a lot of depth.
I think you probably so excited having your baby that you want to forget the agony you went through to get there. Well on the other hand, it really shouldn’t be agony at all. My antenatal class teacher always repeats, breathing properly, staying calm, eating regularly small things at a time and moving in the right way should supply your womb with oxygen, glucose and everything you need in order to make your birth experience easy and pain-free.
I mean all it is a muscle and one hell of a cramp if you don’t know how to do those things right.
What should you pack in your bag for the hospital?
scarf that you can use to lift bump and dad can massage with
tens machine if you got one
and one more thing ” a calm self in control”
Of course there are other things you can pack, but if you forget something don’t panic or worry. The dad’s are there for the rescue.
Pack early just in case, because labour can come in at any stage and don’t be alarmed if your baby is coming earlier than expected. Always inform your midwife about what is happening to you, so that they can support you!
Sometimes labour doesn’t go as you planned it to go, but as long as your and baby are safe you should not beat yourself up over this. You can only do so much, the rest is just mother nature.