Tag Archives: Parent

My little boy is 7 months old already


IMG-20130503-WA0001It seems like yesterday when Dino came into this world and yet yesterday was his first name day and he recently turned 7 months.

I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. At Christmas time I had very close friends come over with their 9 month old daughter, I remember thinking to myself how grown up her baby was already. I saw her as a toddler and not as a little baby, which is really strange now because my son is 7 months and I still see him as my little baby. I guess I may always feel that way. I have immensely enjoyed every second of motherhood, yes even the bad times, as I see my son gazing into my eyes for any kind of reaction. Now he just babbles to himself and coos at me from time to time which is ever so sweet. When we wake up in the morning he wants mommy cuddles and he strokes my face, minus the accidental eye poking experience. We laugh, bath and play together endlessly eventhough sometimes I feel I am going to faint from sheer exhaustion.

I realize that giving him specific foods influences his moods also, so I have always tried to be cautious. I gave him grapes yesterday and I just couldn’t keep up with his energy levels which suddenly spiked out of this world. I keep thinking about when we finally decide to have another one how it would feel and how it would fit in with my precious boy and his demand for constant attention. Children are so precious and they really really do change your life in a drastic way, you even can’t watch movies in the same way anymore. This weekend we watch “The Impossible” and all I kept thinking was What is going through that mother’s mind? She is probably clinging onto life and her tired body for her little boy”. I feel sorry for all those people in Oklahoma or in Boston whose kids have been injured in these disastrous events. I can’t even begin to imagine what they are going through. Your life is your kids, they are your everything, your heart, your mind, your soul. What would you give to them, I would give them everything of me.

More than ever I feel that nothing else material matters anymore and that the outside world can go on and try and affect me but as long as my child is nearby and healthy I wouldn’t care less.

The there is watching Toy Story 3 when the child is no longer a child but a young adult going to college and the last scene is when the mommy walks into an empty room and realises that this baby is now ready to be a man and eventually he will have his own children. All I can say is, thank god that day is still far away and I still got plenty of time.

Parenting


parentingParenting skills come with experience and also with knowledge transfer. It isn’t always easy to know what to do and sometimes you relying on people, “specialists” to guide you. Sometimes the specialists get it wrong, so what do you have? Parenting instincts, mother’s instinct! Trust it, it is the most powerful thing in the world.

Why?

Because it is formed on love and admiration for your child. It is important to share experiences and many have recognized this and formed parenting / mother and baby groups. Sometimes these have been distorted into an excuse to get out the house and gossip thereby lessening the learning experience. We have now apparently formed classes to teach young mom’s how to play with their children, because somehow those skills never got passed on.

Well don’t worry, there are moms out there like me, who don’t mind sharing 🙂 and there are parents like you who like to read.

Match made in the internet (heaven).

How do Dad’s feel during pregnancy?


English: Father with baby in the shower.
English: Father with baby in the shower. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The days are getting colder and I am spending more time at home. I regularly reflect back on my journey to becoming a mom. I am already 35 weeks pregnant and the pressure of becoming a mom and going through labour is just beyond the door. I am extremely excited and looking forward to having someone so little in my arms that I can hold and cuddle with. However, I have noticed my relationship with my husband has changed over the course of the pregnancy and is continuing to change.

In the beginning my husband was almost speechless, he looked like he was a little in shock when he found out I was pregnant. He didn’t show any overexcitement, but didn’t look disappointed either. Internally I think he was just trying to process the thought of being a dad, only having just less than a year ago become a husband I bet it was one more thing to think about.

It took him quite a while to adjust to being a husband, I think initially he felt pretty trapped and uncomfortable, it must have taken about 6 months for him to settle in with this thought. Being married puts pressure on a man, he is expected to fend for his family no matter what. In order for them to feel comfortable they need to gain their confidence as a stable income provider and a man in control. Women tend to nest easier and we quickly adapt to our wifely role, cooking, cleaning, supporting our men and doing just about anything to keep the balance at home.

Becoming a father is an even bigger challenge, with the daily changing of nappies, going to work, sleepless nights and one more mouth to feed. Some men get scared and they run away from their obligations, pretend it’s a woman’s job, hide at work or just don’t want to accept it. Unfortunately this leads to a lot of tension at home, because the wife is tired, neglected, finding no time for herself and just isolated with the baby with limited social interaction to a more adult group.

It is really important that both parents understand that they need time together as a family, also time to themselves and time alone without the baby. This is where grandparents come in handy I hope!

My husband is so fond of our little baby, even though he isn’t born. I think the reasoning behind this, is that I share with him all the little things baby does. Like when he kicks, or has hiccups and oddly enough babies even in the womb have their own characters. When mine gets startled or excited, he gets the hiccups. He also likes to stick out his bumm and have it rubbed and the more you rub it, the more he sticks it out.

He is a funny little character, just like his daddy!

While his daddy seems to be growing more and more overprotective over me, especially when the bump is slowly getting bigger. I still sometimes feel alone when I am at home. I now feel like I need more attention and care and the days are beginning to slow me down. Sleeping is becoming a problem and doing all the chores is not as easy anymore. This is when daddy’s can really help the mom to be, be home earlier, sometimes cook her a meal, help clean the house and just be reassuring. It can be a really stressful time mentally and the support means more than anything. If you ignore to do those things, she will be even more scared for the future and what a new baby might bring. She will think that not only is she now going to have to take care of you, but the chores and the baby. This becomes a cloud of doom, because of the massive uncertainty attached to how she is going to cope given her feelings of exhaustion.

Now is not the time to play computer / tv games, or do just about all the things you want to or have been doing, it is a time for change and stepping into the real role of manhood. Your contribution is invaluable and so are you in a relationship. Mind, Body and Soul.

Plus, you need to remember you are not just a husband now but also a father. That bond you get with your children that is something no one can later take away from you.

One colleague once said to me, you will inevitably end up fighting about stupid things. What you need to do is ask yourself, “Do I have a strong opinion about it, if not and your partner has then just go with it.”